You’ve finally done it. You’ve started coaching more clients, increased your income, or created more free time for yourself. Or maybe you’ve built a relationship that’s everything you’ve ever wanted.
And now you’re happy, and everything is wonderful…
Then why does part of you yearn for the days when things were “normal” and familiar?
It’s a common problem, and even Life Coaches aren’t immune. And when this longing starts to kick in, you might even find yourself doing things that sabotage your new success: not coaching your new-found clients as well as you know you can, or being distant toward your new partner, or overspending so that you lose the extra income as quickly as you made it.
Have you ever found yourself doing something like that?
Why does this happen, and why would making positive changes make you uncomfortable?
Because your subconscious mind likes it when things stay familiar. It’s learned how to manage certain types of pain, how to handle relationships in specific ways, and how to be comfortable with your old lifestyle.
When you start to change, you force it to adapt. The subconscious mind HATES adapting. It adores the status quo, and it can be endlessly creative in protecting it.
It uses distractions, self-doubt, and anything else it can think of to keep things from changing. And if you manage to push past its first lines of defense, your subconscious will resort to scaring you into submission.
Why does it do this, and how can you remove fear and move forward with confidence?
Here are a few quick steps that you can take right now:
1: Accept the part of you that’s afraid
When an irrational fear comes up, it’s not because you’re a coward, or wrong, or because part of you is bad. Your subconscious’ fear tactics may make it seem like it’s trying to hurt you, but the truth is, it’s trying to protect you. And the alarm that you’re experiencing is actually an echo of the fears and wounds that you experienced as a young child.
Essentially, your subconscious mind is the bodyguard of your inner child, defending him or her from anything that resembles danger, even if that perceived “threat” is actually a good thing.
The fear is a reaction to change. As the change normalizes, our inner child gets comfortable and cozy in the positive results of the change. Resenting our subconscious mind for resisting change only creates more conflict and can make even small changes seem enormous.
2: Lovingly hear your inner child out
Ask the frightened part of yourself, “What are you afraid of?”
Once you get an answer, ask, “If that happens, what do you fear will happen as a result?”
The goal here is to discover the core fear, the wound that’s at the root of the reluctance you’re experiencing. Don’t be surprised if this original wound somehow resembles the risk you’re taking by making changes in your life currently. That won’t always be the case, but it frequently is.
3: Reassure your inner child, and take a stand for yourself
Once you’ve discovered the root of your fear, take a moment to comfort and be reassuring.
“I’m sorry that that happened to you. But don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I know it’s scary to risk being hurt like that again, but I don’t believe it’s going to happen this time. Even if it does, we’ll handle it, together.
“Thank you for trying to protect both of us. I’ll take care of it from here. (The change you’re making) will be good for us both, so I choose to take the risk and move toward it. So just sit back and relax, and let me handle it.”
Find a way to phrase it that feels right to you, while still reassuring your inner child and affirming your commitment.
What if you need more than that?
If you need an outside perspective, reassurance, or simply permission to help you accept these changes and risks and move toward your dreams, I’d love to help you with that.
I’ve created a great support network of like-minded Life Coaches and coaching mentors, and if you’d like to learn how to take part in that, just fill out the form on the right. A member of my team will get in touch with you, and together you’ll see if we’re a good fit to help you move toward your goals with ease and confidence.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Here’s to Your Success,
Mary
"The beauty of the DreamBuilder Coaching program is you are handed materials, a proven business model. I can take these programs apply them to ANY industry. I enrolled two clients at $10k each and have made an additional $20k in the last couple of months, while at the same time running a full time Real Estate business."
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"The work I now get to do with people is transformative and makes the world in many ways a better place. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to be a part of the program."
"Before being introduced to the Coaching Certification Program with Mary Morrissey, I had a small coaching practice, and I was also trying to build a music career as a singer and performer. Today I travel the globe singing, speaking and teaching! All three components of EXACTLY what I wanted."
